Attention, please!
Notes on the ADHD-ing of the world
“Bhaiiyaa, ek kilo attention dena!?”
Somewhere between the uncontrolled pandemic of reels and the fall of collective attention spans (now less than a goldfish), I began noticing a curious pattern: more and more people around me had or were being diagnosed with ADHD (Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder). Especially in the Indian Silicon Valley.
These are architects of their industries, founders, filmmakers, consultants, marketers who remembered everyone’s birthdays and built startups on three hours of sleep. People who could dream at scale, but misplace their house keys twice a day and don’t reply to text messages for three weeks.
It didn’t register at first. Then one day at a networking event (yes, Bangalore, of course), in a room with ten to twelve people, three casually mentioned they had ADHD, and the fourth added they were thinking of getting evaluated too. That’s when it hit me: either I know too many people, or something is happening. Something worth writing about.
Globally, about 2.6% of adults continue to meet diagnostic criteria from childhood; a broader 6.8% have symptomatic ADHD today, even if not formally diagnosed.
Naturally, I asked myself: Do I have ADHD too?
I took some online tests to check, and undoubtedly they didn’t give concrete results.
One of the sharpest brains I know, a best friend of mine who is a psychiatrist, looked me in the eye and said, “Shalaka, you don’t.” Hush!
And yet, the question lingered. If I don’t have it, why am I so drawn to people who do? Or maybe because I know too many people in general, and the subset equally has a high number of ADHDians (yes, I’m calling them that as if it were an elite institute).
Is it late diagnosis due to increased awareness? Or a kind of herd mentality?
I understand that ADHD is a map of the mind that routes through detours, pop-ups, and beautiful glitches. For some, it shows up as forgetfulness or lack of intent. For others, it’s a superpower of hyperfocus, creativity, caffeine-fueled brilliance. And for many, it is a mix of everything. And there’s a lot that I don’t know about. I plan to educate myself.
ADHD is perceived differently across countries. It is underdiagnosed in India, over-medicated in parts of the U.S., and gaining clarity with Gen Z.
My favourite ADHD character is Phil Dunphy from Modern Family. He's impulsive, distractible, overly enthusiastic but also brimming with warmth, curiosity, and relentless goofy optimism. Then we have Jess Day from New Girl, who ricochets between teaching kids, crafting projects, and singing to herself in moments of stress. Jake Peralta from Brooklyn Nine-Nine, with his bursts of genius, hyperfixation on cases, and, umm, mild professional chaos.
Coming back to reality, more teens are walking into therapy asking if they have ADHD than ever before. They are just overwhelmed, overstimulated, under-rested, and living inside the algorithm. It’s hard to know what’s what when the world is constantly buzzing.
Rest now has to be scheduled. Focus is something we microdose for. (Wow!)
But here’s what I know: One can’t pick up ADHD like handwriting. It’s neurodevelopmental. It runs in genes, is also contextual and environmental. And like all brains, it seeks rhythm, structure, dopamine, and umpteen. Some people need medication. Others are good with therapy, tools, and kind timelines. The mistake is assuming it's the same for everyone.
I have been working with ADHD brains for a while now, and I am not hyping this, but it is like dancing to a beat that doesn’t follow a metronome.
What worked for me was - stretching the room and having some buffer. Of course, everything begins with building trust. If anything, understanding ADHD has made me more patient and precise. Less offended by unread texts and missed meetings.
We live in a world that wasn’t designed for neurodivergence (just like it wasn’t designed for women, or artists, or dreamers), but slowly, slowly, we’re learning and adapting.
Imagine being called lazy your whole childhood, only to realise as an adult, you just had an undiagnosed brain difference. Therapy helps, sure. Empathy helps more. And honesty helps the most.
To those of us who feel they have ADHD, kindly get tested. To those of us who don’t have ADHD, but love someone who does, may we never confuse delay for disinterest, and chaos for carelessness. We hold space, and we hold time.
After all, aren’t we all just learning how to be better dance partners?
There is no magic without some cold/mess.
Here’s to living in sentences, yours, mine and ours.
Writeously yours,
Great insightful writing
Phil is not ADHD by any means. He is an example of inconsistent writing to suit plot resolutions and not caring for continuity. Plus, the show was focused on stereotypes (and for some reason puns). It's funny, well written, but it was never deep enough to even have that. People w ADHD dont often close big deals or be top real estate agent year after year. I mean he cant operate a coffee machine in one episode, and the next he is giving profound advice. Only explanation is situational writing for comedic effect.
There is a case where some signals for ADHD present themselves due to some other underlying reason. Self diagnosing is problematic in that regard since people dont consider that as the cause. (Eg: coffee, sugar high, sodas and lifestyle factors like lack of sleep etc.).